Psalm 145

So not to bore you but it's worth comparing and working on for a day or so... this is version B. The word dangle is out! More than one person commented and you guys were right (btw, I just used "were" correctly too) I can never tell if it is good or bad to have teachers as friends ;) I promise I do know the difference between the two Kari, but sometimes my fingers forget :) Changed some verb tense and streamlined the 1st, to 2nd person problems I had. Now what do you think my honest friends? Better, same, worse? I've had a comment about a mountain and tears, to keep the tears in or simplify...


The Stream

Barefoot, ankle deep in a mountain stream
he laughs and jumps from stone to stone
the splashing water a crystal dew pausing in the air,
the mountain anointing their feet with it's tears.

She almost kept walking and missed
that moment when his smile was pure
his laugh unobscured, unaware of self while he was
barefoot, ankle deep in a mountain stream.

All they could feel was the cool silk of the water

and the rounded river stones cobbled together by nature

or the occasional little boy who rearranges them, as
he laughs and jumps from stone to stone.

His mother unable to resist adoring him
her soul's hunger finally filled
a satiated joy possessing their steps
the splashing water a crystal dew pausing in the air.

There were reasons not to stop
reasons to leave and never see
how sadness and joy are forever intertwined,
the mountain anointing their feet with its tears.